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Safety Satire


Barry’s Revolutionary New Online Safety Program

November 23, 2025 by Rob Sams 1 Comment

Rob Sams scores a rare and exclusive interview with legendary safety crusader, Barry Spud….. Barry’s Revolutionary New Online Safety Program I was privileged last week to score an interview with the world-renowned leading expert in all things safety, Barry Spud. I met Barry at the launch of his … [Read more...] about Barry’s Revolutionary New Online Safety Program

Filed Under: Humble Inquiry, Rob Sams, Safety Satire, Safety Training Tagged With: Online Induction, safety programs

Researchers Reveal the Top 10 Most Effective Safety Slogans Of All Time

August 27, 2025 by Barry Spud Leave a Comment

Using AI and a new iphone app, a team of social psychology experts has analysed every meaningless aphorism and every condescending platitude ever displayed in the workplace to come up with a list of the most effective safety slogans of all time. Research project leader, Prof. Gerhardt Spudovsky, … [Read more...] about Researchers Reveal the Top 10 Most Effective Safety Slogans Of All Time

Filed Under: Safety Satire, Safety Slogans Tagged With: safety slogans

Trainee Brain Surgeon Solves DIY Fall Problem

July 31, 2025 by Admin 5 Comments

Trainee Brain Surgeon Solves DIY Fall Problem Preventing a serious head injury when falling off a ladder is a simple as wearing a bike helmet according to a leading Trainee Brain Surgeon who presented her findings to the the Royal Australasian College of Surgeons annual scientific congress on … [Read more...] about Trainee Brain Surgeon Solves DIY Fall Problem

Filed Under: Risk Homeostasis, Safety Satire Tagged With: bike helmet, fall protection, ladder safety, risk homeostasis

Shopping for Safety

January 29, 2025 by Prof. Robert Long 10 Comments

The bell on the door buzzed as I entered the shop, a large emporium with worn cedar shelves signifying construction in the last century. I loved the smell of these old shops with dusty stock on the shelves that hadn’t moved for years, some with old price tags in pounds, shillings and pence. The old … [Read more...] about Shopping for Safety

Filed Under: Communication and Consultation, Robert Long, Safety Satire, Social Psychology of Risk Tagged With: Heinrich’s pyramid, people and safety, Zero Harm

Injury Response

October 20, 2024 by Prof. Robert Long 7 Comments

Injury Response I’ve had several conversations with safety people about response to events and incidents on site. One mate on a tier 1 site explains the Safety Advisor role as simply ‘demoralising’. So I thought I would try to mimic the typical safety spud head response to an … [Read more...] about Injury Response

Filed Under: Accidents and Incidents, Robert Long, Safety Satire, Zero Harm Tagged With: all accidents are preventable, injury response, LTIFR, Zero Harm

The Banned Objects Index – A New Development in Safety Culture

June 28, 2023 by Rob Sams 38 Comments

The Banned Objects Index – A New Development in Safety Culture See also: Measuring Does Things To People Have you heard of the ‘Banned Objects Index’ (BOI)? It is the latest ‘measure’ that you can use to compare your organisations safety culture against another. The ‘BOI’ is easy to calculate, … [Read more...] about The Banned Objects Index – A New Development in Safety Culture

Filed Under: Just Culture, Risk Aversion, Rob Sams, Safety Culture, Safety Satire, Social Psychology of Risk Tagged With: banned, measurement, safety culture

Measurement in Safety, You’ve Got it All Wrong

February 10, 2023 by Prof. Robert Long 7 Comments

I read a recent article by Alan Quilley (http://www.safetyresults.ca/) on measuring safety by injury rate and was fascinated by the logic. I enjoyed the video on regression to the mean (Prevention of Incidents VS Creating Safety) and the discussion on injury goals. But I thought Alan, you have all … [Read more...] about Measurement in Safety, You’ve Got it All Wrong

Filed Under: Robert Long, Safety Satire, Safety Statistics, Safety systems, Social Psychology of Risk Tagged With: bounded rationality, flooding, injury data, measurement, safety management systems, sms

Barry’s Latest Safety Innovation Discovery

July 22, 2022 by Barry Spud 3 Comments

If you are sick of trying to discern real risk, want to exclude a big chunk of your workforce and are completely over having meaningful conversations about PPE with workers who have absolutely no common sense then you will love what I found on Linkedin today! It comes with a big mirror so workers … [Read more...] about Barry’s Latest Safety Innovation Discovery

Filed Under: PPE, Safety Satire

Template – Zero Harm Advisor

July 9, 2020 by Barry Spud 10 Comments

In the interests of supporting the safety industry, we here at Safetyrisk provide hundreds of templates to save you time searching and money. So the following template is provided at no cost for any of those zero organisations seeking a zero harm advisor. Feel free to use the complementary template … [Read more...] about Template – Zero Harm Advisor

Filed Under: Safety Professional, Safety Satire, Zero Harm

One flew over the cuckoo’s nest

July 6, 2020 by Bernard Corden 5 Comments

We know that no one ever seizes power with the intention of relinquishing it George Orwell Welcome to the latest edition of the Australian Institute of Heinrich & Skinner fake newsletter following the resounding success of the recent online national conference with its enigmatic theme of … [Read more...] about One flew over the cuckoo’s nest

Filed Under: Bernard Corden, Safety Satire

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