Researchers Reveal the Top 10 Most Effective Safety Slogans Of All Time

Using a new iphone app, a team of social psychology experts has analysed every meaningless aphorism and every condescending platitude ever displayed in the workplace to come up with a list of the most effective safety slogans of all time.

Research project leader, Prof. Gerhardt Spudovsky, said: “This new app cost us $US2.99 to download but investing in new technology like this is the way to move safety forward. The app uses a very complex algorithm and, when measuring the effectiveness of safety slogans, it takes into account criteria such as semiotics, discourse, epistemology, bias, attribution, smugness, humour, credibility, rhyming, recollection, acceptance, simplicity, fear, empathy, culture, double speak, cynicism, recall, superiority, arrogance, blame, guilt and unconscious messages.”

“We tried to qualify our hypotheses with some field interviews but everybody either thought we were joking or said they had better things to do” said Prof. Spudovsky. “However, technology, much like safety slogans, obviates the need for human interaction.” (See Safety For Luddites)

Here are the Top 10 Most Effective Safety Slogans – you should tear your old ones down immediately and replace them with these:

In his report, Prof. Spudovsky concludes: “At first we thought that our data was flawed as the research indicates that perhaps safety slogans are a useless waste of time, even counter productive and harmful. However, our sponsors, the “Zero Thought Leadership Group”, were very excited, saying that this proves what they have known all along – that language is not important and as long as people are compliant and punished then safety will always be the number one priority” (see They’re Only Words….. Aren’t They? )

10 OF THE WORST WORKPLACE SAFETY SLOGANS EVER:

Safety is our No1 Priority
Take 5 and Stay Alive
The Key To Safety Is in Your Hands
Safety Is Choice You Make
No Safety, Know Pain
Safety Is a Choice You Make
A spill, a slip, a hospital trip
Safety glasses: All in favour say “Eye!”
Safety rules are your best tools.
Stay Alert – Don’t Get Hurt
You are looking at the person responsible for your safety (sticker on a bathroom mirror)
You think safety is expensive, try an accident