Christmas Safety Poem

Enjoy our new 2020 Xmas Safety Poem “Safety Tells” (sung to jingle bells) HERE >>>>>>>

Christmas Safety Poem – A Hazardman Christmas

Republished in 2020 by demand, first published 2016 – enjoy again:

News from the UK and reported in the Daily Mail:

Elf and safety forces Nativity procession Mary to ride on a donkey wearing HARD HAT

Prompted Rob Long to write this Christmas Safety Poem – ENJOY!

Please also check out our collection: Christmas Safety Messages, Poems, Tips and Articles

A Hazardman Christmas

By Dr Robert Long from Humandymensions

It’s time again for the Christmas parade

Pull out the old costumes, plans must be made

The committee gathers to put things in together

Considering all things, even the weather.

What about ‘elf n safety’ says one of the mob

‘You must be joking’ says Dazza, ‘shut ya gob’

But up stands Hazardman, saviour of the day

‘You have to follow regulations, you’ll go to gaol they say’

So we trawl through proceedings and look at each part

Hazardman says this a SWMS, this is a fun start

But wait he calls out, ‘Mary, look where she’s sat’

‘I have to save her, she needs a hard hat’

‘She’s sitting up high, nearly one point eight’

‘She needs a hard hat a fall is her fate’

So the committee as lemmings driven by fear

Agree to the hard hat, Hazardman is here.

‘Riding a donkey is dangerous stuff’

We need ‘elf n safety’ ya can’t get enough

‘And what about Joseph?’ ‘sandals won’t do’

‘Joseph needs steel caps’ says Hazardman on cue.

‘And see what they’re wearing for hazardous traffic’

‘High viz over those tunics will look terrific’

Reflectors for the donkey front and back’

‘Now’ says Hazardman, ‘They’ll be safe on the track’

And so it came to pass, as the committee decided

Mary and Joseph were ‘elf an safety’ paraded.

Hazardman had saved the sacred procession

And the story of Jesus, lost in succession

And the lesson learned when this news broke

Hazardman is a dork and ‘elf n safety’ is a joke

• Bio
• Latest Posts
• More about Rob

Prof. Robert Long

Expert in Social Psychology, Principal & Trainer at Human Dymensions

Latest posts by Prof. Robert Long (see all)

• Seduction and Simulacra in Safety - October 4, 2026
• Psychosocial Contexts and Risk Factors - September 27, 2026
• Is Safety the Sum of What it Worships? - September 26, 2026
• Is the Quest to Eliminate Uncertainty Morally Good? - September 25, 2026
• Risk is Phenomenal - September 23, 2026

PhD., MEd., MOH., BEd., BTh., Dip T., Dip Min., Cert IV TAA, MRMIA Rob is the founder of Human Dymensions and has extensive experience, qualifications and expertise across a range of sectors including government, education, corporate, industry and community sectors over 30 years. Rob has worked at all levels of the education and training sector including serving on various post graduate executive, post graduate supervision, post graduate course design and implementation programs.