Enjoy our new 2020 Xmas Safety Poem “Safety Tells” (sung to jingle bells) HERE >>>>>>>
Christmas Safety Poem – A Hazardman Christmas
Republished in 2020 by demand, first published 2016 – enjoy again:
News from the UK and reported in the Daily Mail:
Elf and safety forces Nativity procession Mary to ride on a donkey wearing HARD HAT
Prompted Rob Long to write this Christmas Safety Poem – ENJOY!
Please also check out our collection: Christmas Safety Messages, Poems, Tips and Articles
A Hazardman Christmas
By Dr Robert Long from Humandymensions
It’s time again for the Christmas parade
Pull out the old costumes, plans must be made
The committee gathers to put things in together
Considering all things, even the weather.
What about ‘elf n safety’ says one of the mob
‘You must be joking’ says Dazza, ‘shut ya gob’
But up stands Hazardman, saviour of the day
‘You have to follow regulations, you’ll go to gaol they say’
So we trawl through proceedings and look at each part
Hazardman says this a SWMS, this is a fun start
But wait he calls out, ‘Mary, look where she’s sat’
‘I have to save her, she needs a hard hat’
‘She’s sitting up high, nearly one point eight’
‘She needs a hard hat a fall is her fate’
So the committee as lemmings driven by fear
Agree to the hard hat, Hazardman is here.
‘Riding a donkey is dangerous stuff’
We need ‘elf n safety’ ya can’t get enough
‘And what about Joseph?’ ‘sandals won’t do’
‘Joseph needs steel caps’ says Hazardman on cue.
‘And see what they’re wearing for hazardous traffic’
‘High viz over those tunics will look terrific’
Reflectors for the donkey front and back’
‘Now’ says Hazardman, ‘They’ll be safe on the track’
And so it came to pass, as the committee decided
Mary and Joseph were ‘elf an safety’ paraded.
Hazardman had saved the sacred procession
And the story of Jesus, lost in succession
And the lesson learned when this news broke
Hazardman is a dork and ‘elf n safety’ is a joke
Dr Rob Long
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