Punography

Punography

Love a good pun – especially annoying my kids with them – they call them “Dad Jokes” – thanks to John Wettstein, from WSSI. WSSI Book: “Safety Strategies-Tips for Your Toolbox” HERE

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Some of my favourites:

• I failed to become an Olympic high jumper – I’ll never get over it
• John Deere had a lot of detractors when he announced his invention.
• I wanted to be a Safety Officer but I couldn’t take the risk.
• The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
• Did you hear about the fire in the chip factory? It was burnt to a crisp!
• Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’
• The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
• I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
• She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
• She was only a stable hand but all the horse manure
• A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
• Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
• Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’’’
• Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

Anyone got any safety puns??