• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

SafetyRisk.net

Humanising Safety and Embracing Real Risk

  • Home
    • About
      • Privacy Policy
      • Contact
  • FREE
    • Slogans
      • Researchers Reveal the Top 10 Most Effective Safety Slogans Of All Time
      • When Slogans Don’t Work
      • CLASSIC, FAMOUS and INFAMOUS SAFETY QUOTES
      • 500 OF THE BEST AND WORST WORKPLACE HEALTH and SAFETY SLOGANS 2023
      • CATCHY and FUNNY SAFETY SLOGANS FOR THE WORKPLACE
      • COVID-19 (Coronavirus, Omicron) Health and Safety Slogans and Quotes for the Workplace
      • Safety Acronyms
      • You know Where You Can Stick Your Safety Slogans
      • Sayings, Slogans, Aphorisms and the Discourse of Simple
      • Spanish Safety Slogans – Consignas de seguridad
      • Safety Slogans List
      • Road Safety Slogans 2023
      • How to write your own safety slogans
      • Why Are Safety Slogans Important
      • Safety Slogans Don’t Save Lives
      • 40 Free Safety Slogans For the Workplace
      • Safety Slogans for Work
    • FREE SAFETY eBOOKS
    • Free Hotel and Resort Risk Management Checklist
    • FREE DOWNLOADS
    • TOP 50
    • FREE RISK ASSESSMENT FORMS
    • Find a Safety Consultant
    • Free Safety Program Documents
    • Psychology Of Safety
    • Safety Ideas That Work
    • HEALTH and SAFETY MANUALS
    • FREE SAFE WORK METHOD STATEMENT RESOURCES
    • Whats New In Safety
    • FUN SAFETY STUFF
    • Health and Safety Training
    • SAFETY COURSES
    • Safety Training Needs Analysis and Matrix
    • Top 20 Safety Books
    • This Toaster Is Hot
    • Free Covid-19 Toolbox Talks
    • Download Page – Please Be Patient With Larger Files…….
    • SAFETY IMAGES, Photos, Unsafe Pictures and Funny Fails
    • How to Calculate TRIFR, LTIFR and Other Health and Safety Indicators
    • Download Safety Moments from Human Resources Secretariat
  • Social Psychology Of Risk
    • What is Psychological Health and Safety at Work?
    • Safety Psychology Terminology
    • Some Basics on Social Psychology & Risk
    • Understanding The Social Psychology of Risk – Prof Karl E. Weick
    • The Psychology of Leadership in Risk
    • Conducting a Psychology and Culture Safety Walk
    • The Psychology of Conversion – 20 Tips to get Started
    • Understanding The Social Psychology of Risk And Safety
    • Psychology and safety
    • The Psychology of Safety
    • Hot Toaster
    • TALKING RISK VIDEOS
    • WHAT IS SAFETY
    • THE HOT TOASTER
    • THE ZERO HARM DEBATE
    • SEMIOTICS
    • LEADERSHIP
  • Dr Long Posts
    • ALL POSTS
    • Learning Styles Matter
    • There is no Hierarchy of Controls
    • Scaffolding, Readiness and ZPD in Learning
    • What Can Safety Learn From Playschool?
    • Presentation Tips for Safety People
    • Dialogue Do’s and Don’ts
    • It’s Only a Symbol
    • Ten Cautions About Safety Checklists
    • Zero is Unethical
    • First Report on Zero Survey
    • There is No Objectivity, Deal With it!
  • THEMES
    • Psychosocial Safety
    • Resiliencing
    • Risk Myths
    • Safety Myths
    • Safety Culture Silences
    • Safety Culture
    • Psychological Health and Safety
    • Zero Harm
    • Due Diligence
  • Free Learning
    • Introduction to SPoR – Free
    • FREE RISK and SAFETY EBOOKS
    • FREE ebook – Guidance for the beginning OHS professional
    • Free EBook – Effective Safety Management Systems
    • Free EBook – Lessons I Have Learnt
  • Psychosocial Safety
    • What is Psychosocial Safety
    • Psychological Safety
      • What is Psychological Health and Safety at Work?
      • Managing psychosocial hazards at work
      • Psychological Safety – has it become the next Maslow’s hammer?
      • What is Psychosocial Safety
      • Psychological Safety Slogans and Quotes
      • What is Psychological Safety?
      • Understanding Psychological Terminology
      • Psycho-Social and Socio-Psychological, What’s the Difference?
      • Build a Psychologically Safe Workplace by Taking Risks and Analysing Failures
      • It’s not weird – it’s a psychological safety initiative!
You are here: Home / Bernard Corden / A day in the life

A day in the life

November 8, 2020 by Bernard Corden 2 Comments

For the benefit of Mr Kite there will be a show tonight on trampoline

Lennon & McCartney

image

Welcome to an interim edition of the Australian Hinstitute of Heinrich and Skinner (AHHS) fake newsletter, which features Queensland’s forthcoming phantasmagorical virtual safety conference. This prestigious event was initially scheduled to be held at the Southport Sharks sport, leisure and entertainment precinct amidst Australia’s billionaire playground on Queensland’s Gold Coast, which is only a short helicopter flight from the Ardent Leisure Dreamworld theme park. However, following a sustained campaign involving several animal welfare groups, the organising committee decided on a virtual format. Many imprudent lobbyists foolishly believed holding our annual safety conference at this esteemed location further tarnished and significantly contributed to an already unwarranted public perception of these bloodthirsty marine predators….So let me introduce to you the one and only Marcus Einfeld, who has been appointed master of ceremonies for this breath taking festival.

Despite the virtual format, the conference organisers have assembled a stimulating array of corporate talent and narcissistic thought leaders, which reinforces our occupational health, safety and welfare crusade. The webinar includes an opening address from Julie Bishop who defended CSR Limited during the Heys and Barrow mesothelioma case in the Supreme Court of Western Australia. Many renowned global corporate brigands including BHP Billiton, Rio Tinto, Anglo Coal and Peabody Energy will be represented at this inspiring pageant and its audience will hear from several distinguished corporate crooks and famous sociopaths…..What do you see when you turn out the lights, oh I get by with a little help from my friends.

The register of speakers is quite formidable and includes Meredith Hellicar, Judy Moran, Tom Domican (FAHHS ChOHSP), Mick Gatto (FAHHS COHSProf), Diane Smith-Gander, Louis Bayeh (FAHHS), Rodney Adler, and Ray Williams. Moreover, the closing session features exclusive guest appearances from Queensland’s industrial relations minister, Grace Belladonna Grace (neé Farfaglia) and Uncle Geraldo Bellino, who received approximately eight years in the stir following the infamous Fitzgerald Inquiry, which was pure theatre.

The closing session also includes a virtual tour of the notorious Bubbles Bath House in Fortitude Valley and critical root cause analysis of the Whiskey Au Go Go nightclub firebombing, which resulted in the deaths of 15 individuals back in March 1973…………Having been some days in preparation a splendid time is guaranteed for all and of course Henry the Horse dances the waltz.

The three-day extravaganza is designed to generate cognitive dissonance with extensive binary oppositional logic, which is typically restricted to antisocial media platforms such as Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter. This redneck rhetoric invariably reflects a positivist worldview with the relentless regurgitation of evidence based and peer reviewed hard or soft systems change management subjects. It eventually degenerates into a tyranny of bureaucracy aboard a carousel of culpability enshrouded by a miasma of fear….I’m fixing a hole where the rain gets in and stops my mind from wandering.

During the conference, any skerrick of discernment or critical thinking, which attempts to address subjective elements of risk or noble professional attributes such as caring, compassion, listening and learning will be discouraged or even curtailed. This will be accomplished by carefully prearranged and modified questions to avoid any acute embarrassment in the most likely event that particular safety crusaders are unfamiliar with their portfolio or specific subject matter and alternative worldviews……..Indicate precisely what you mean to say, yours sincerely wasting away.

The virtual conference provides ample networking opportunities and copies of the following subversive literature will be burnt immediately after the closing ceremony:

· Envisioning Risk – Seeing, Vision and Meaning in Risk

· The Social Psychology of Risk Handbook

· For the Love of Zero – Human Fallibility and Risk

· Real Risk – Human Discerning and Risk

· Fallibility and Risk – Living with Uncertainty

· Tackling Risk – A Field Guide to Risk and Learning

· Risk Makes Sense – Human Judgement and Risk

· Following-Leading in Risk – A Humanising Dynamic

· Risky Conversations – The Law, Social Psychology and Risk

· How Grim Was My Valley – The Great Safety Charade

Participants are reminded that registration requires unsuspecting subscribers to provide the organising committee with an internet protocol address and using a virtual privacy network is highly recommended………….……Newspaper taxis appear on the shore waiting to take you away, climb in the back with your head in the clouds and you’re gone.

  • Bio
  • Latest Posts
  • More Info

Bernard Corden

Latest posts by Bernard Corden (see all)

  • After the goldrush - May 8, 2021
  • The Internationale - April 28, 2021
  • SHE’s lost control again - April 27, 2021
  • Can’t buy me love - April 16, 2021
  • Blinded by the Light - March 31, 2021

Please share our posts

  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Bernard Corden, critical thinking Tagged With: AIHS, safety conference

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Bernard Corden says

    November 8, 2020 at 1:17 PM

    We have double vision:

    https://www.visions.org.au/about-us/

    The AIHS’s stated vision – “OHS professional excellence to facilitate a safe and healthy workplace for all Australians”.

    https://www.aihs.org.au/about

    Our Vision is – “Safe and healthy people in productive workplaces and communities.”.

    Reply
  2. Rob Long says

    November 8, 2020 at 12:21 PM

    The best way to ensure that no vision is presented is to brand a package a ‘visionary’ and hope no-one asks questions.

    Reply

Do you have any thoughts? Please share them below Cancel reply

Primary Sidebar

Search and Discover More on this Site

Never miss a post - Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address and join other discerning risk and safety people who receive notifications of new posts by email

Join 7,516 other subscribers

Recent Comments

  • Andrew Floyd on Culture and Risk Workshop – Feedback
  • Leon Lindley on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Rob Long on Entertainment, Suckers and Making Money From Safety
  • Rob Long on Celebrating 60 Years of Lifeline
  • Gregg Ancel on Entertainment, Suckers and Making Money From Safety
  • Rob Sams on Celebrating 60 Years of Lifeline
  • Rob long on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Rob Long on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Rob Long on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Rob Long on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Admin on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Leon Lindley on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Admin on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Mariaa Sussan on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Brian Darlington on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Leon Lindley on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Narelle Stoll on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Narelle Stoll on Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Brian Edwin Darlington on SPoR Workshops Vienna 26-30 June
  • Rob Long on How to Manage Psychosocial Risks in your organisation

RECOMMENDED READING

viral post – iso 45003 and what it cannot do

Introduction to SPOR – FREE!!

Psychosocial Safety and Mental Health Series

Celebrating 60 Years of Lifeline

Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness

Duty of Care is NOT Duty to Care (for persons)

Safety, Ethics, SPoR and How to Foster the Abuse of Power

Psychosocial Spin – Naming Bad as Good, Good Work Safety!

How to Manage Psychosocial Risks in your organisation

The Delusions of AI, Risk and Safety

Health, the Poor Cousin of Safety

Psychosocial Health Conversations – Three

Conversations About Psychosocial Risk – Greg Smith, Dr Craig Ashhurst and Dr Rob Long

More Posts from this Category

NEW! Free Download

Please take our 2 minute zero survey

FREE eBOOK DOWNLOADS

Footer

VIRAL POST – The Risk Matrix Myth

Top Posts & Pages. Sad that most are so dumb but this is what safety luves

  • 500 OF THE BEST AND WORST WORKPLACE HEALTH and SAFETY SLOGANS 2023
  • Free Safety Moments and Toolbox Talk Examples, Tips and Resources
  • CATCHY and FUNNY SAFETY SLOGANS FOR THE WORKPLACE
  • Road Safety Slogans 2023
  • 15 Safety Precautions When Working With Electricity
  • How to Calculate TRIFR, LTIFR and Other Health and Safety Indicators
  • Safety Acronyms
  • Download Safety Moments from Human Resources Secretariat
  • CLASSIC, FAMOUS and INFAMOUS SAFETY QUOTES
  • Culture and Risk Workshop - Feedback

Recent Posts

  • Culture and Risk Workshop – Feedback
  • Practical Case Studies in SPoR Presented at Vienna Workshops
  • Risk iCue Video
  • Rethinking Leadership in Risk
  • ‘Can’t Means Won’t Try’ – The Challenge of Being Challenged
  • Gesture and Symbol in Safety, the Force of Culture
  • Human Factors is Never About Humans
  • Celebrating 60 Years of Lifeline
  • Smart Phone Addiction, FOMO and Safety at Work
  • Entertainment, Suckers and Making Money From Safety
  • Breaking the Safety Code
  • The Futility of the Centralised Safety Management System?
  • Liking and Not Liking in Safety, A Tale of In-Group and Out-Groupness
  • Risk iCue Video Two – Demonstration
  • Radical Uncertainty
  • The Safety Love Affair with AI
  • Safety is not a Person, Safety as an Archetype
  • Duty of Care is NOT Duty to Care (for persons)
  • What Can ‘Safety’ Learn From a Rock?
  • Safety, Ethics, SPoR and How to Foster the Abuse of Power
  • Psychosocial Spin – Naming Bad as Good, Good Work Safety!
  • SPoR Workshops Vienna 26-30 June
  • What Theory of Learning is Embedded in Your Investigation Methodology?
  • How to Manage Psychosocial Risks in your organisation
  • Risk You Can Eat
  • Triarachic Thinking in SPoR
  • CLLR NEWSLETTER–March 2023
  • Hoarding as a Psychosis Against Uncertainty
  • The Delusions of AI, Risk and Safety
  • Health, the Poor Cousin of Safety
  • Safety in The Land of Norom from the Book of Nil
  • Psychosocial Health Conversations – Three
  • Conversations About Psychosocial Risk – Greg Smith, Dr Craig Ashhurst and Dr Rob Long
  • Jingoism is NOT Culture, but it is for Safety
  • CLLR Special Edition Newsletter – Giveaways Update
  • The Disembodied Human and Persons in Safety
  • 200,000 SPoR Book Downloads
  • What SPoR Network is.
  • Trinket Safety
  • How to Know if Safety ‘Works’
  • Due Diligence is NOT Quantitative
  • SPoR Community Network
  • Conversations About Psychosocial Risk Session 2 – Greg Smith, Dr Craig Ashhurst and Dr Rob Long
  • The Psychology of Blaming in Safety
  • By What Measure? Safety?
  • Safe Work Australia a Vision for No Vision
  • Do we Need a Different Way of Being in Safety?
  • Non Common Sense Mythology
  • Language Shapes Culture in Risk
  • What Does Your Risk and Safety Icon Say?

VIRAL POST!!! HOW TO QUIT THE SAFETY INDUSTRY

FEATURED POSTS

What SPoR Network is.

There’s a Hole in Your Investigation.

Study Social Psychology of Risk Online in 2018

Framing Folly and Fantasy in Safety

Blind Faith in Safety

Talking Risk Videos – Humanising Workers Compensation

Safety is an Art

Zero Vision but Purchase Insurance

The Social Psychology of Distance-Safety

SEEK is not a Method

Safety-1, Safety-2, Safety-3

Impacts of Cognitive Dissonance in the Workplace

Essential Preparation for a Safety Job

Sergeant Safety

Safety Cries Wolf!

It’s a Great Goal, it Just Doesn’t Work

Shopping for Safety

The Worm at the Core

Rhetoric and Reality in Safety

The Visionary Imagination and Marion Mahoney Griffin

The New Safety Saviour – Algorithms

Reflection Makes Sense

By What Method?

The New Enemy of Safety – The Unconscious

Risky Conversations, The Law, Social Psychology and Risk

Social Psychology of Risk in Canada

SPoR, Ideology and Safety Myth

The Less You See, the More Likely to Die

Psycho-social workplace issues

The Challenge of Social Sensemaking in Risk

Safety Should NOT Be About Safety

The Convenience of Complacency

Study The Psychology of Risk

Vision Can’t Come from Safety Compliance

The Binary Barnacle

Complacency and The Wayward Mind

Seven Essential Safety Reminders

Ways in Which the Workplace Harms Us

We can Value Safety but Safety is not a Value

Non-Conscious Safety

More Posts from this Category

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address and join other discerning risk and safety people who receive notifications of new posts by email

Join 7,516 other subscribers

How we pay for the high cost of running of this site – try it for free on your site

WHAT IS PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY?

What is Psychological Safety at Work?


WHAT IS PSYCHOSOCIAL SAFETY