Its All Good – The Trees Were Killed For OH&S Reasons

Radio Station B105 reported today that trees on a wealthy Brisbane Street have been dressed in shade cloth as part of a fight against vandals. The trees were poisoned last April, allegedly by local residents, hoping to improve the value of their properties and their multi million dollar views. The shade cloth will remain until new trees can be planted. The eucalyptus microcorys (tallowood) and bloodwoods trees (corymbia species) were estimated to be 40 years old and represented an environmental value of $120,000.

Affected resident, Hilda Spud, wife of Colourful Safety Crusader, Barry Spud told us: “Its preposterous to say this was about the view. Home is where the heart is, the view doesn’t make a home, it’s what is on the inside that counts. My husband Barry knows safety and so he knows the law and what is right and what is unsafe. He assessed the risk and decided that the trees had to go for safety reasons. He wrote to the council on numerous occasions and told them that kids had been climbing in the trees and could fall and die, their laughter could also be damaging to the hearing of nearby residents. Eucalyptus oil causes allergic reactions, the trees attract bees and very dangerous feral koala bears. Not to mention that the branches could bring down power lines in a storm and if a vehicle left the road and ran into one of these trees there would be multiple fatalities. The Council ignored his expert warnings and so he had to take matters into his own hands in order to protect the community from these hazards.”

A spokesman for the Local Council, Cr. James “Mirrors” Dribble issued a statement in which he said: “We are looking into it, but this is not a reflection of Council’s disregard for OH&S. Contrary to rumours, we did not erect shade cloth to punish the residents who perpetrated this flagrant act of vandalism. In fact, we were in the process of planning how to safely remove these trees and recycle them or perhaps raise the dwellings so they could see over the top of the trees. However, now we have concerns about residual poisons in the soil but more importantly the loss of footpath shade which could lead to a serious outbreak of melanoma and retinal damage. Erection of shade cloth is a cost effective means to reduce all of the risks to zero”.

He added: “People are always demanding council to remove or cut trees for safety reasons and the decision is always taken by Safety Experts and qualified Arborists on our payroll. Safety is not about people, we will usually look into a demand to remove a tree but it has to be to maintain the health of the tree.”

Safety can justify anything!