• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

SafetyRisk.net

Humanising Safety and Embracing Real Risk

  • Home
    • About
      • Privacy Policy
      • Contact
  • FREE
    • Slogans
      • Researchers Reveal the Top 10 Most Effective Safety Slogans Of All Time
      • When Slogans Don’t Work
      • CLASSIC, FAMOUS and INFAMOUS SAFETY QUOTES
      • 500 OF THE BEST AND WORST WORKPLACE HEALTH and SAFETY SLOGANS 2023
      • CATCHY and FUNNY SAFETY SLOGANS FOR THE WORKPLACE
      • COVID-19 (Coronavirus, Omicron) Health and Safety Slogans and Quotes for the Workplace
      • Safety Acronyms
      • You know Where You Can Stick Your Safety Slogans
      • Sayings, Slogans, Aphorisms and the Discourse of Simple
      • Spanish Safety Slogans – Consignas de seguridad
      • Safety Slogans List
      • Road Safety Slogans 2023
      • How to write your own safety slogans
      • Why Are Safety Slogans Important
      • Safety Slogans Don’t Save Lives
      • 40 Free Safety Slogans For the Workplace
      • Safety Slogans for Work
    • FREE SAFETY eBOOKS
    • Free Hotel and Resort Risk Management Checklist
    • FREE DOWNLOADS
    • TOP 50
    • FREE RISK ASSESSMENT FORMS
    • Find a Safety Consultant
    • Free Safety Program Documents
    • Psychology Of Safety
    • Safety Ideas That Work
    • HEALTH and SAFETY MANUALS
    • FREE SAFE WORK METHOD STATEMENT RESOURCES
    • Whats New In Safety
    • FUN SAFETY STUFF
    • Health and Safety Training
    • SAFETY COURSES
    • Safety Training Needs Analysis and Matrix
    • Top 20 Safety Books
    • This Toaster Is Hot
    • Free Covid-19 Toolbox Talks
    • Download Page – Please Be Patient With Larger Files…….
    • SAFETY IMAGES, Photos, Unsafe Pictures and Funny Fails
    • How to Calculate TRIFR, LTIFR and Other Health and Safety Indicators
    • Download Safety Moments from Human Resources Secretariat
  • Social Psychology Of Risk
    • What is Psychological Health and Safety at Work?
    • Safety Psychology Terminology
    • Some Basics on Social Psychology & Risk
    • Understanding The Social Psychology of Risk – Prof Karl E. Weick
    • The Psychology of Leadership in Risk
    • Conducting a Psychology and Culture Safety Walk
    • The Psychology of Conversion – 20 Tips to get Started
    • Understanding The Social Psychology of Risk And Safety
    • Psychology and safety
    • The Psychology of Safety
    • Hot Toaster
    • TALKING RISK VIDEOS
    • WHAT IS SAFETY
    • THE HOT TOASTER
    • THE ZERO HARM DEBATE
    • SEMIOTICS
    • LEADERSHIP
  • Dr Long Posts
    • ALL POSTS
    • Learning Styles Matter
    • There is no Hierarchy of Controls
    • Scaffolding, Readiness and ZPD in Learning
    • What Can Safety Learn From Playschool?
    • Presentation Tips for Safety People
    • Dialogue Do’s and Don’ts
    • It’s Only a Symbol
    • Ten Cautions About Safety Checklists
    • Zero is Unethical
    • First Report on Zero Survey
    • There is No Objectivity, Deal With it!
  • THEMES
    • Psychosocial Safety
    • Resiliencing
    • Risk Myths
    • Safety Myths
    • Safety Culture Silences
    • Safety Culture
    • Psychological Health and Safety
    • Zero Harm
    • Due Diligence
  • Free Learning
    • Introduction to SPoR – Free
    • FREE RISK and SAFETY EBOOKS
    • FREE ebook – Guidance for the beginning OHS professional
    • Free EBook – Effective Safety Management Systems
    • Free EBook – Lessons I Have Learnt
  • Psychosocial Safety
    • What is Psychosocial Safety
    • Psychological Safety
      • What is Psychological Health and Safety at Work?
      • Managing psychosocial hazards at work
      • Psychological Safety – has it become the next Maslow’s hammer?
      • What is Psychosocial Safety
      • Psychological Safety Slogans and Quotes
      • What is Psychological Safety?
      • Understanding Psychological Terminology
      • Psycho-Social and Socio-Psychological, What’s the Difference?
      • Build a Psychologically Safe Workplace by Taking Risks and Analysing Failures
      • It’s not weird – it’s a psychological safety initiative!
You are here: Home / Covid-19 / How do we mourn?

How do we mourn?

April 9, 2020 by Admin 3 Comments

Guest post by Frank Garrett

imageWhat are we mourning for? In our busy, noisy complicated world we don’t have time for such questions. But this current quarantine situation has provided time to ask, to wonder, what have we lost, what do we stand to lose, how do we grieve for those?

The very social nature of humanity is based on caring, loving, nurturing, connection and loss. I wasn’t present when either of my parents died, I had much to say that was left unsaid, but the last time I did see them there was no shortage of hugs, kisses and physical connection even though they were not dying then. I can’t imagine how folks are dealing with saying goodbye through a phone and many layers of personal protective equipment from a distance. How do we mourn like that? How do we have connection through the layers?

Care, social connection and nurturing start with touch and minimal barriers between the patient and care giver. Mirror neurons reside in the prefrontal cortex, they help us interpret and understand the intentions of others, they are the first non-verbal communication to develop between an infant and parents. But when we cover the face with PPE designed to protect, it also blocks these signals, sure patients rationally understand Doctors and Nurses are there to help, to care and ease suffering. Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D., The body keeps the score- Brain, Mind, and Body in the healing of Trauma. (Penguin Books 2014) How do we mourn when the visual signals are blocked, when the empathy embodied in our eyes or tension in the lips are obscured?

One empathetic young woman understands this and has developed masks specifically for patients who read lips https://www.lex18.com/news/coronavirus/college-student-makes-masks-for-the-deaf-hard-of-hearing, she can’t keep up to the orders and requests because many in health care understand this aspect. So, if individuals and family’s losing loved ones in this pandemic is considered acute mourning and grief, words left unsaid, emotions not expressed. Then as survivors are we all chronically mourning; for what have we lost collectively.

We crave connection and belonging, to be part of the fabric that is woven through society, our community our tribe. When the ability to connect and be socially active is taken away, when we are asked to “shelter in place” “self-isolate” “quarantine” or practice “physical distancing” for long periods we lose that critical connection, we miss those hugs, that touch and that connection to our family, friends and community. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/apr/06/the-ache-of-hard-borders-we-have-never-lived-further-from-our-families Mourning for our loss of freedom, our social connection, our autonomy and control over our own lives becomes more and more important. So how do we mourn, for the loss of these, how do we share, how do we express this grief when most of us are not even conscious of it?

Rationally, consciously, if we think about it we understand the need to stay sequestered in our homes but so much of what we do is done unconsciously, when that sun shines after 10 months of snow and winter, we simply migrate outside https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nENyhvqwhqI , the rebirth following the cold winter is a blossoming of the soul, like the flowers so ritualized in mourning.

How do we mourn, how do we express loss and grief, everyone does it differently and no conversation on the topic would be complete without a mention of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross MD, who has written a number of books on death, dying, grief, loss and living, these are such personal embodied acts no one can tell you what is right and wrong, what we learn as we move through the process that helps us learn and grow. Long before my father left us for good we asked if he could share any wisdom to ease the pain. He said no, If I had the wisdom, giving it to you would rob you of the experience, and the learning that comes with it.

Please share our posts

  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Covid-19, PPE, Social Psychology of Risk Tagged With: coronavirus, mourning, quarantine, self isolate, social distancing

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. bernardcorden says

    April 9, 2020 at 6:48 PM

    The following article which looks at grief in different situations and complexities of attempting to measure grief is also well worth reading:

    https://psykologisk.no/sp/2016/04/e7/

    Reply
    • Rob Long says

      April 10, 2020 at 8:11 AM

      A good article Bernard with huge application for Safety. The sector through zero suppresses many things like grief and loss just as it says precious little about wisdom, learning and imagination. The script has been written by hidden shibboleths that are observed because zero is the mantra. When a number defines what is taboo then rituals follow from that belief that suppress discussion of loss and amplify numerics as reality. In this case the Safety Silences are evident in what the AIHS BoK defines safety should be concerned about and, its none of these things. As it creeps into the 40s and 50s in chapters it still says nothing about ethics, wisdom, personhood, care, helping, loss or humanising risk.

      Reply
  2. Rob Long says

    April 9, 2020 at 2:39 PM

    Wise words Frank. How important to reflect on loss in the context of risk. Of course, in zero there is no mourning because one is punished for even talking about loss.

    Reply

Leave a Reply to bernardcorden Cancel reply

Primary Sidebar

Search and Discover More on this Site

Never miss a post - Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address and join other discerning risk and safety people who receive notifications of new posts by email

Join 7,525 other subscribers

Recent Comments

  • Rob Long on It is NOT My Responsibility to Keep You Safe
  • Chris. on It is NOT My Responsibility to Keep You Safe
  • Pierre Joubert on Zero Doesn’t Work, Road Fatalities Increase
  • James on We are all equal
  • Rob Long on We are all equal
  • James Parkinson on We are all equal
  • Brent Charlton on What Does Safety Achieve?
  • Admin on We are all equal
  • James Parkinson on We are all equal
  • Rob Long on What Does Safety Achieve?
  • Brent Charlton on We are all equal
  • Brent Charlton on We are all equal
  • Brent Charlton on We are all equal
  • Brent Charlton on What Does Safety Achieve?
  • Simon Cassin on You Can Fool Someone Some of the Time but, You Can Fool Safety All of the Time
  • Simon Cassin on You Can Fool Someone Some of the Time but, You Can Fool Safety All of the Time
  • Rob Long on You Can Fool Someone Some of the Time but, You Can Fool Safety All of the Time
  • Rob Long on You Can Fool Someone Some of the Time but, You Can Fool Safety All of the Time
  • Rob Long on You Can Fool Someone Some of the Time but, You Can Fool Safety All of the Time
  • Rob Long on You Can Fool Someone Some of the Time but, You Can Fool Safety All of the Time

RECOMMENDED READING

viral post – iso 45003 and what it cannot do

Introduction to SPOR – FREE!!

Psychosocial Safety and Mental Health Series

It is NOT My Responsibility to Keep You Safe

The KISS of Death in Safety

Is Your Safety World Too Small?

You Can Fool Someone Some of the Time but, You Can Fool Safety All of the Time

When Safety (Zero) is Abusive

Hands Up the Best Safety Fraud!

Communicating Professionally in Risk

How NOT to be Professional in Safety

How NOT to do Anything About Culture in Building and Construction

Celebrating 60 Years of Lifeline

More Posts from this Category

NEW! Free Download

Please take our 2 minute zero survey

FREE eBOOK DOWNLOADS

Footer

VIRAL POST – The Risk Matrix Myth

Top Posts & Pages. Sad that most are so dumb but this is what safety luves

  • 500 OF THE BEST AND WORST WORKPLACE HEALTH and SAFETY SLOGANS 2023
  • Free Safety Moments and Toolbox Talk Examples, Tips and Resources
  • CATCHY and FUNNY SAFETY SLOGANS FOR THE WORKPLACE
  • Safety Acronyms
  • FREE RISK ASSESSMENT FORMS, CHECKISTS, REGISTERS, TEMPLATES and APPS
  • What Is Safety?
  • Download Safety Moments from Human Resources Secretariat
  • Embodied Learning in Risk
  • How to Calculate TRIFR, LTIFR and Other Health and Safety Indicators
  • A Conversation About Learning

Recent Posts

  • A Conversation About Learning
  • Brady Review, Nothing New, No Way Forward – Republished
  • Disrupting the Methodology in Safety?
  • Embodied Learning in Risk
  • Fake Paperwork Ethics, Spin and The Freedom to Harm
  • Stop the Job You Haven’t Done Your ‘Tick & Flick’
  • Culture Silences in Safety – Language
  • When Blame Comes Easy, A Lesson From Job
  • Identity, Regulation and Risk, It’s not Just Worksafe NZ
  • AI and Safety, Brutalism on Steroids
  • Beware of Hazardous ‘OINTMENT’
  • Embodied Risk
  • The Convenience of Complacency
  • Asking Better Questions in Risk
  • SPoR – Positive, Constructive, Practical, Rational, Visual, Verbal, Social, Relational, Person-Centric, Respectful, Ethical and Real
  • History and Hindsight in Safety
  • Process driven or People driven? What’s your Focus?
  • Anchoring, Framing and Priming Risk
  • What’s Your Agenda in Safety?
  • What is a Safety Reset?
  • The Myth of Neuroscience Safety
  • When Safety Delights in ‘I Told You So’!
  • Beware the Cult of Denial
  • My Story is Better than Yours
  • Understanding Safety as a Cultural Reproductive Process
  • The Unconscious and the Soap Dispenser
  • Thinking Outside the Safety Bubble
  • Understanding Language Influencing, A Video
  • Safetie
  • You are NOT the Sum of Safety
  • Update on SPoR in India, Brazil and Europe
  • It is NOT My Responsibility to Keep You Safe
  • Safety at the Margins
  • Research Basics for Safety
  • We Need Communities and They Need Us
  • Researching Within The Safety Echo Chamber
  • Confirmation Bias, Risk and Being Offensive
  • Lemmings for Lemmings in Leadership and Risk
  • Expertise by Regurgitation and Re-Badging
  • Zero Doesn’t Work, Road Fatalities Increase
  • Can There Be Other Valid Worldviews Than Safety?
  • Evaluating Value by the Value of What You Don’t Know
  • Reality vs Theory, The Binary Divide
  • No Paradigm Shift with BBS
  • The KISS of Death in Safety
  • Is Your Safety World Too Small?
  • What Does Safety Achieve?
  • In Praise of Balance in Risk and the Threat of Extremism
  • We are all equal
  • You Can Fool Someone Some of the Time but, You Can Fool Safety All of the Time

VIRAL POST!!! HOW TO QUIT THE SAFETY INDUSTRY

FEATURED POSTS

Mental Health, Risk and Safety

Safety and Risk Leadership Master Class

Psycho-social workplace issues

Safety for Luddites

The Reason Safety Has Gone So Crazy

Listening, Learning, Helping and Caring about Risk

Models From Social Sensemaking

Wisdom, Discernment and an Ethic of Safety

Just Tell Your Mind to Stop It

Surfacing – Making the Unconscious Conscious

No Help for Mental Health in Zero

The Advisor as Skilled Helper

Framing Risk Through Regulation

Risky Conversations Book Launch in Perth

New Video Series on Safety

The Will To Be and Do

Social Psychology of Risk Workshop-Sydney

CLLR Christmas 2016 Newsletter and Competition

Understanding Language Influencing, A Video

Understanding How People Make Decisions and Judgments

Why People Do As They Do

Say Something that Makes Sense

Conducting a Psychology and Culture Safety Walk

Risk Boldly

Complacency and The Wayward Mind

Perfectionism in Safety and the Denial of Humanity

Selective Harm for Rio Tinto

Is Complacency Evil?

Semiotics, Semiology and Safety Sense

Tentative at Tooleybuc

The Domino Delusion in Safety

Envisioning Risk in Canada

Safety Gives Me the Right over Other Rights

‘Pause and Ponder’ – what we can learn from social psychology academics

Making Safety Better by Using Our Adaptive Toolbox

How to Leave the Safety Industry

Subjecting and Objecting About Risk

Social Media and Safety

Themes and Concepts in Risk – Requests

The Banned Objects Index – A New Development in Safety Culture

More Posts from this Category

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address and join other discerning risk and safety people who receive notifications of new posts by email

Join 7,525 other subscribers

How we pay for the high cost of running of this site – try it for free on your site

WHAT IS PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY?

What is Psychological Safety at Work?


WHAT IS PSYCHOSOCIAL SAFETY

x
x